Slowly We Rock

39. 40 Pizzas in 30 Days

We have a word from our unofficial sponsor and zombie-bite denier, Papa John, and he's truly lost his mind. 

As we prepare ourselves for his "day of reckoning", we're left to discuss the real issues whilst there's still time, including; what's the absolute worst 12 flavours you can put into a tin and why have Game gone ahead and created it? What things has Faith No More's Mike Patton shit in, and does Axl know? Why won't August Burns Red just play their Christmas songs around Christmas?

We've got you covered; bring on the Yuletide Papacalypse. 

38. Periphery, Ghost and Noel Edmunds

It's been a great week for live shows with Djentle giants Periphery, and the spooks of spectacle, Ghost! We're going to get into all of that, but we've got another mystery to solve; what is "Blobby"? When did it gain sentience? Does it recognise it's own kind? Will it foil that dastardly Edmunds? 

Find out the answers above, plus; Matt Helpern's guide to firm hat placement, Japanese prison camps vs Ant and Dec, Motley Crue's surprise reunion of bad singers. 

 

37. 8 Days with Geoff Tate

As we roll towards the end of 2019, there's a huge film release on everyone's lips. It's the end of the saga as we know it, and through the ups and downs of the last few years, we're all in agreement that this could be one of the biggest cinematic events in history. That's right. Jim saw Slayer: The Repentless Killogy and he's going to break down whatever he understood of the narrative for your listening pleasure(?). 

We also discuss Opeth Hecklers, Watchmen - the coolest masked series on TV right now, and the ABSOLUTE BEST THING WE'VE EVER DISCOVERED ON THE PODCAST, STARRING GEOFF TATE. 

36. The Worst Halloween Special Ever!

Those spooky groans and moans can only mean one thing; it's Halloween! 

Join us in our definitely-well-planned Fright Night Extravaganza as we fail to celebrate, fail to dress up, and fail to come up with some good horror flicks. Chilling stuff.

Your 3 favourite (g)hosts are also covering; do we just want to Cosplay now? Brad Paisley's wild London show, Killswitch Engage live - a Tale of Two Singers, and a genuinely smooth segue to Hobbs and Shaw.

Grab your crucifix, lock the doors, and join us in the Witchin Hour to laugh away the demons that are gunning for your sweet, sweet candy.  

35. Tommy Lee's Cool New Dick Filter

Tom gave us MySpace.

Zuckerberg gave us Facebook. 

Now, 'Motley Crue' and 'Tommy Lee Goes to College' star, Tommy Lee, is proud to present his addition to the digital market; a penis-based filter that's set to take the market by storm. 

We're also talking about the seemingly lacking output of the bigger politically charged bands in such politically unstable times, so we've really got all angles covered here. 

Other tangents; Brand new Opeth, Mikael Åkerfeldt goes record shopping straight from our Shit List, the worst solo on any instrument ever, and how to do a really good Mick Jagger impression. 

34. David Lee Roth: Beat Poet

Diamond Dave is back to announce a Vegas residency, however we're far too excited about his wonderfully unhinged promo video/podcast/ramblings of a madman. WOOH!

We're pretty sure the Van Halen frontman has transcended the "Rock God" status and jumped out on that road of button down pants, bongos and smokey rooms that you'd only find at the finest coffee-shop beat-poetry nights. He's really letting loose and we couldn't be happier to get an unfiltered look into the mind of one of rock's most colourful patrons. 

Also covered; Black Lace make a very surprising comeback, Grand Designs and the Naked Window, and Paul Gilbert's very tall crowd. We'd also like to thank you for noticing how excellent our segues are. Thanks. 

33. Hotel, Motel, Killswitch Engage

We have been truly spoiled this week with new releases from metalcore heavyweights Killswitch Engage's "Atonement", and the prog powerhouse that is Tool's "Fear Inoculum"! So what does that mean? That's right; we're talking Pitbull! 

Is there anywhere Mr Worldwide won't grace? Is he part of some sleazy Hollywood club that will force a guest appearance in exchange for recording time? Is he Lewis's Dad?! Find out for yourself in this latest episode of our rock and metal podcast. 

Also discussed; yes, both of those albums! Killswitch and Tool (OF COURSE). We're also covering Jim's trip to ArcTanGent, so we've got plenty to cover and not a lot of time. We're going down, we're going timber, Baby.

32. We Are Not That Kind

Dan's back from his holiday and he's all fired up from oysters, ready to jump into some new releases from Tool and Slipknot! We actually do a semi-decent job of discussing music this week, but don't worry, we've still got plenty of tangents (or "bits") that you've come to know and endure.

We're talking Dublin and the Phil Lynott Finger Sacrifice, a McCulinary Exchange, Slayer; “more expensive than petrol!”, the Blue Rinse Brothers, and the anti-burn serum we crave to get over our last episode. 

Remember, if you think someone will enjoy our premium brand of nonsense, drop them a little recommendation! 

31. The Shit List: Guns 'N' Roses - Chinese Democracy

They were so preoccupied with whether they could, they didn't stop to think if they should...

They said it would never happen, we hoped they were right, but here we are diving deep into the fourth Guns 'N' Roses original record, Chinese Democracy. A band of 17, recorded across 14 years with more Axl Rose than you can shake a bandanna at... what could possibly go wrong?

Well fear not brave listener, we've endured the whole thing so you don't have to! 

Also covered: The Area 51 run, top US Presidents in film, which Buckethead album are you?

30. The Cast That Should Not Be

OH YEAHAHHH! 

We're back to the meaning of LIFE. Note these subtle cues because we're talking METALLICA, BABY! Jim and Nelmes are fresh from their mighty Worldwired show in London, and they're pretty fired up to talk about metal's biggest export. We've crunched the numbers, consulted the finest analysts, and we're pretty sure the verdict is that they're what we like to refer to as a "real good time". 

Also covered; Gojira, Lewis; Home Alone '19, Joe Pesci's incredibly aggressive Yorkshire Puddings, and is Cemetery Gates actually a good song? Like, really, is it?